Archive for December, 2008

As the year comes to an end, there’s only one more post I want to write, and it’s this one. I just want to share with you how I experienced things in my life, things that have happened to me, how I have changed.

Upfront I want you to know that this has been the most memorable year of my life so far, even today something happened I am so happy about… I can’t tell you how happy. So many things have happened, I don’t know where to start, really. So I guess I just gonna start somewhere.

In the beginning of this year, I was living in my old house, one before the one I’m living in now. Not too far from here. There were three of us, me, a girl and a guy. Those two happened to be together at the time, it seemed to work out pretty okay. They then expressed their wish to live on their own, and after some thinking I decided to move out. One is better than two – right? So I did. Which brought me into the house I live in now. At the time it certainly was a good choice… there were some fights over some really trivial things, something I’d laugh about today. You know how things go sometimes – you get irrational and say some stupid things. So we didn’t really part in good terms. I’m kinda sad about that today you know, I liked her. Maybe I still do… As time progressed, I learned some things about that guy I better leave unsaid here. Rest assured he’s gone and she’s happy about it. It was the best house I ever lived in, coolest landlord too. Great times. Although we parted in bad terms, we had quite a ride in that house, especially with new housemates we had in all the time. That was just all in all… pretty awesome.

As I came into this house, I got to know a few interesting people. One nutcase (really, but also interesting in a weird kind of way, who moves out now), another housemate I’m now cool with, and someone who wants to become a priest. I didn’t really think much of it at first, but we became good friends. We don’t necessarily share the same opinion about religion and all, but he respects my view – I respect his. He’s gone now, back home. We talk from time to time on IM, and that’s pretty awesome… Especially after what he did for me that one Sunday when I was really sad. I won’t forget that man.

Then there was my most recent ex-girlfriend. She’s from Belfast you see. I live here, in Dublin. We met on this online dating page, OKCupid.com (it’s not bad, try it if you like). We exchanged a few mails there, then IM details. Pretty solid discussions, lot of fun, and well yeah, some other things too =D. Eventually we decided to meet, in person, and take things from there. She couldn’t take it anymore, not seeing me and all. So I called in sick for two days to meet her. To see her. So she came here, and we spent some good two days, it was really really great. Yeah well, and we got together after a while, as you can imagine. So she came around often, on weekends, or during the week, when she had time you know. Which was really cool, I started to like her. On a serious level, was thinking that there maybe something is developing here. In some areas our frequencies resonated, harmonized. She liked games, I did. She liked geeky stuff, like I did. I thought that could be awesome. Well for the time, it was for sure. Then one weekend I drove up to her, because in Belfast there was this Q-Con Anime Convention. She looked forward going there for months, and I wanted to come along. That was pretty cool, a whole weekend full of geeky awesomeness. I had taken 2 extra days off so that I could go home on Tuesday, instead of Sunday. However suddenly she sends me home, says she doesn’t really feel like being with me at that moment. So I went home, sad, tears in my eyes (I never told you THAT eh?). And on the Monday that followed, she pinged me on IM, tells me she doesn’t wanna be my girlfriend no more. For no reason.

So all I tried to do, for her, to make her life better… for nothing. At all. I do not understand. You know who you are… help me understand. I just want to know the reason.

You know, me and my biological mother parted ways a while ago. A while being 10 years. If I look back at all that time, when I was with her… I think she never really cared. About me or something. At the climax of all what was happening, she actually tried to kill me – but it failed. Obviously. I’m typing this right?

If you wanna know the whole and complete story, read my article from earlier this year where I outline all the events.

However I felt compelled to visit her one more time, to find out why, to get closure. Such a thing ain’t restin’ easy in your mind, knowing your own goddamn mother tried to ghost you man. Ever since I had TEN goddamn birthdays and Christmases WITHOUT HER. You know who you are – I hope you read this and understand what you did. So in June I went there, to find out why. The place was like I left it, I swear. Even my room was mostly untouched… Seriously creepy. Like frozen in time, like you just stepped off a time machine and went back to exactly that moment. Maybe she couldn’t bear it to touch the room. My lost room. Anyways. I’m still alive.

Workwise… Sometimes I think I’m just lucky with the places I work in, sometimes I think there is a meaning. Like that I was meant to get in there, meet the people I met. I start to believe that even more so… I start to think that there are certain waypoints in life we are simply meant to encounter – something will always lead up to that waypoint. Maybe. I don’t know, but I’d like to think so. Why am I saying this? Because from last year in October (2007), I was hired to work for DoubleClick – you know, the world leader in online advertising. It has been the best place I have ever worked for and still is, from the first moment on. This year I have learned so much that is gonna help me… Wow. You see Google made a proposal to buy DoubleClick. At the time anti-trust agencies looked into the case – in the US and here. Eventually the US agreed – but not the EU. Well on March 11th 2008 the EU agreed too and the deal was sealed. One day later the company became a part of the Google group of companies. We were then moved to Google contracts and their office. To be in there is pretty cool, it is certainly interesting and I like the fact that there are so many geeks like me. I also like the fact that they haven’t ripped us apart yet, I’m still in my team I have come to know and love – and I don’t wanna leave them. Quite frankly it is the best team I have ever worked with in my entire time here, all of them. There’s no doubt about it. Luck? Or meant to be? I’d like to believe it’s the latter.

It’s been quite a ride for me actually. But there is… one more thing.

When I started at DoubleClick, I met this one person. And I thought she’s really nice and cool. She interviewed me. When it was over I was hoping I’d meet her again some time, but for that, I’d have to have the job first.

And this is what then happened – how I got to know her, how we became friends, close friends.

We’re still that close =). Closer I’d say now… we hung out a lot of times. She bought me many dinners, many drinks, we went to gigs. Enjoyed great times. Before that I seldomly had such good times, there was little enjoyment in my life, really. And in that post I wrote and promised that I’d be paying for dinners… well I still have to do that some day. But at least I bought her a few bottles of the wine she likes… does that count?

We share things, we have good laughs, we talk about our days. And she gives me advise… gives me a little push in the right direction. And we play Katamari (I’ll beat one of your records… be sure of it! Ha! =D). All in all… something really unbelievably great has developed here.

You know, she knows my situation and all, not having a family anymore. So she adopted me as her little brother. Like, for real. We’re family now =)

I seriously, genuinely, believe that this is one of thos persons you only come across once in your lifetime. Only once. And now I am her little brother… how awesome is that man?

All the things that happened, all the times we already spent together, you adopting me as your brother, the things you taught me already… you have changed me you know? In a good way. I will never forget that. You know I’m your friend (and in your family now), and I’m there for you. This has been the one thing that I’ll remember the most of the entire year, you have made me a better person. I feel better. I know I can call you too.

Thank you. =)

And that’s pretty much it… that’s all I wanted to say.

So all of you out there who read this and my blog from time to time, enjoy Christmas, be excellent to each other, and have a good start into the next year.

That’s it, thanks for reading, and see you soon.

Good night.